Legend has it Poseidon had every aquatic creature at his beck and call, from the smallest shrimp to the largest whale shark. Yet no amount of seaweed or starfish could shield his eyes from the burning rays of Helios until - Lo! Behold! A gift from Hephaestus himself, a brand new pair of Polarized 2000s. “Dude. These are fucking sick.” Poseidon bellowed, “Just wait until Aphrodite sees me in these.”